Look what comedic material fell into my lap

Most of you know I work in the public relations industry. I did six-to-seven years in PR penitentiary, i.e. PR agency life. But now that I'm out on parole (i.e. the beautiful freedom of corporate life), it's interesting to see the industry through a different point-of-view and I'm really enjoying the experience. (In all seriousness, agency life isn't that bad...)

Anyways, in my inbox this morning was a cold-call e-mail from a boutique PR agency I've never heard of. I'm changing up the names/locations to protect the innocent (highlighted in red), but this was just so awful that I couldn't pass up the opportunity to share how not to pitch your PR agency to someone:

Whoops!

I love how I counsel my colleagues (and former clients) that one shouldn't start a blog if you aren't committed to updating it at least once a month. And looking at my last post (dated July 26), I'm feeling a bit hypocritical right now.

I could tell you I've just been too busy (I have) or I haven't had anything to blog about (that's not true), but I think the truth is I'm in a bit of a social media rut. Between work, Fatroll (my lack of posts there coincide with a weight gain... sigh), Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn -- I'm worn out. I've been doing social media before it was cool, so I feel like where I'm at is where the rest of the world will be at in two years.

I'm not telling you to go and short Facebook stock (it's not even public, so it would be hard to do anyways), but I have an eerie feeling I'm not the only one who finds enjoying life and people face-to-face is way more fun that staying glued to my phone/laptop/Twitter feed/Facebook status updates/etc.


So now, I'm going to go back to bumming on my couch with my bum-partner-in-crime (Walter), listen to The Saint soundtrack from 1996 or something and re-read Harry Potter and avoid people until tomorrow.

Later ;)

And now, a quick commerical break

So, I'm dog-sitting a fun-loving wolf-pack this week. It's a set of five dogs that Justin and I check on three times a day to let them out, give them love and make sure their bellies are full of yummy dry dog food goodness (remember, I'm never feeding a dog wet food ever again).

Notice the wrinkles on his tounge? It's funny. Trust me.

Problem is, they're -- with the exception of one -- various different breeds of terriers. We have Duncan, the alpha of the pack, who is a goregous Westie (and my personal fav). His tounge is also bigger than his mouth can support, so just the tip of it always hangs out. Then there is Jack, the Jack-Russell terrier; Kingsley, the Pomeranian; Elvis, the Yorkie; and, Bella, a dark-,coarse-haired terrier mix. Bella is the only female of the group, and also the one who randomly barks for no reason. Most of the time, the guys just ignore her after awhile because she won't shut up, and you could probably make some societal conclusions about the whole affair if you think about the interaction long enough.

As cute as they are, their breed type also means they shed horribly. And this morning, I decided to wear an all-black outfit to check in on them before heading to work. I looked like I had my own coat of hair by the time I got to work.

BURN!!

I could be this chick, I suppose. Her skin looks like she is a pug.

Last week, I went tubing for the first time. You may have read about it and my #WTSDS. But it's been a week and a day, and while the redness has subsided from the resulting sunburn, my skin is itching non-stop. Like, I would be at work and would have to run to the bathroom just so I could scratch my skin for 5-10 minutes in peace and without feeling embarrassed. Or wake up in the middle of the night and sit in a warm bath just to make it stop.

Weird thing is, I'm not peeling. It just feels like I have ten million bug bites that won't go away.

Anyways, it turns out that there is a list of things you should and shouldn't do when you have itchy sunburn and I pretty much did all of it wrong. So in the interest of helping you all out in the heat of the summer, here's some tips and tricks courtesy of WikiAnswers to making sure you recover quickly.

To Go or Not To Go... A Decision on Going to my 10-Year Reunion

As some of you know, I've been toying with the idea of skipping my 10-year high school reunion. Justin is indifferent (we were in the same school, graduating class) and given the last year and a half, I don't really want to be asked about how my life is going. Because, news flash, it sort of sucks right now.

You know how it will go down, right? Something to the effect of, "Justin and Jenni! Never thought you two would date, let alone marry. ("Yeah, I'm pretty shocked  sometimes too...") How's life treating you? You both were so bright in high school, I bet you have great jobs. So, how's it going? Started having a family yet?"

And then my answer will inevitably be something along the lines of, "I'm going to go cry in that corner now." In some ways, I want to pull a Romy and Michelle and say I invented the Post-Its. It's not that far fetched, really. I do work for the company that invented them. Hahaha. Unfortunately, I am not in R&D and I'm not an chemist specializing in adhesives, so that would be a short-lived discussion. Or it should be... I wonder how far I could take that discussion with people... :)

Why Power Suits Ruined Opportunities for Women in the Workplace

Climbing up the proverbial work ladder in the last couple of years has introduced me to a wealth of information, expectations and stereotypes about women in the workplace.

And now I’m in a bit of a culture shock situation. The shift from a female dominated profession/workplace (like many PR agencies) to a male dominated one is making my head hurt.

Thanks to the 1980s Power Suit, women have struggled to be taken seriously in the workplace. Yes, the very style meant to prove that women were equal to a man (at least in the shoulders) is the very thing that has screwed us over in today’s society.

What Stopped Me Cold Turkey

I’m not ashamed to admit it – I devoured the Twilight books series in the span of a week and a half; two weeks if you count the online portion of Midnight Sun (the half-completed book that tells the Twilight story from a different character’s point of view).

And I remember watching the first movie (with a friend who will remain nameless) on DVD and I thought it was a bit ridiculous, but whatever. I was still on the Twilight high. There is something about crappy writing about high school angst that moves me ;)

But what literally stopped me cold turkey was an incident that took place about a year ago with two friends (and who will remain nameless as well) on the opening day of New Moon – the second movie in the series.

The New Job

I’ve gotten a lot of e-mails from friends and family asking about my new job – if I like it, hate it, etc. So in the interest of not repeating stories 10 million times, I’ll just go ahead and blog about my experience so far. Granted, I’m only in my third week, but I’m starting to get an idea of the culture, the work and the expectations my co-workers have for me – and what I have for myself.

It’s not that I hated the PR agency routine (in fact, I still adore my old agency and the folks I work with – they set a standard in work that I can only hope to emulate at my new job), but coupled with Justin’s unemployment and a need to take my career to the next level, I decided it was time for a change. That said, after seven years at various agencies, I was tired. As much as I love carrots, you sort of hate chasing them after awhile because when you do get a carrot, it tastes a few days past its shelf life. I guess that’s the best analogy for working at a PR agency I can find.

First Day of School!

Okay, I'm not going back to school. But I feel like I am.

Tomorrow is my first day at a new job. And I feel like I'm starting the first day of high school. Seriously. It's like everything that I've done this weekend I'm pretty sure I did as an insecure 14-year-old. Let me break it down:

Wet Dog Food: Don't Fall For It!!

In the past, I've always liked to treat Walter to a spoonful of wet dog food mixed with his dry food once or twice a year. Usually I did this when he got sick and his little tummy couldn't handle the dry food. And the food would be from the veterinarian's office, which means it's specially formulated to help him out more than for taste alone.

But I decided to get the Purina One wet dog food on a bit of a whim and I have regretted it ever since.

This apparently amazing tasting dog food (I'm having to take Walter's "word" for it) must have crack in it, because it's turned Walter into a total sloth. A pig. A chubby shell of his formerly cute self.

A Change is in the Air...

Ah, Spring. While today may not look like it (at least here in Austin where it is muggy and rainy), I'm already looking forward to the sunny days of late April and May. Swoon -- those are the months to live in Texas. June-early September, errr... not so much.

I've already started the Spring Cleaning of the house -- and first up to bat was the mess that became my closet. Using the Ashley-method of closet organization, my shirts and dresses are now organized by the color wheel from sleeveless to long-sleeved. Skirts are organized by length and pants are organized from lightest to darkest. My shoes (which aren't as many as I thought, though Justin would beg to differ) are organized first by color, then by heel size. Then to help with dirty clothing sorting (Justin has a bit of an issue with putting colors in the white bin and white attire in the colors bin), I put signage above each bin to aide with sorting. And I took out the power tools and installed hooks to hang PJs, workout bags, hats, etc. Finally, I'm hanging some of my favorite shopping bags as decoration.

I can't wait to have people over to show off my fabulous new closet. Amazing how cleaning up the clutter makes you feel like your life is actually put together as well. I highly recommend it!

Food and Exercise Log for February 9, 2010

For those of you visiting from the @fatroll blog, welcome. :)

Those of you who don't read @fatroll, quick recap. I'm starting to get pudgy again. I've slacked off on working out and eating healthy the past two months and my body is rejecting what I'm throwing at it. Upset stomach, headaches, etc. No more! Back to eating healthy and getting my energy through working out, not through caffeine in three cans of Diet Sunkist (mmm).

At the end of each day, I will post a screen shot of my food and excerise intake from LoseIt.com. (I use and adore their iPhone app. It may be the best reason to own an iPhone.) Feel free to add me as a friend if you want on there. And if you are looking for a way to lose weight (It's how I originally lost close to 20 pounds in Round 1 of @fatroll!), I highly recommend it. Plus, it's free.

Here you go. Day 1! Ping me if you have questions!

Preparing for LOST... how to do a watching party right.

February 2, 2010. If I have to take the day off from work (or the next day off to digest what occurred on this day), I will.

This quite possibly, is the most important day of the year for me, until a TBD date in May when the series finale of LOST will occur and my mind will be blown -- or I will be hella pissed off -- because of the awesomeness.

A New Decade...

January 13, 2000, 9 a.m.: If it was an "A" day, I am currently sitting in Coach Hall's Calculus class three seats behind the young man I would eventually marry, pretending to solve an anti-derivative while I secretly play Tetris on my TI-86 calculator. The thought of even kissing the boy would have most likely resulted in hysterical laughter. Hahaha.

If it was a "B" day, I am currently sitting in my English class discussing some Shakespearean play while also talking about our happy place and "the good ice." (some of you will get that reference)

Most importantly though, my mind is wondering if I will get accepted into the University of Texas (the only school I applied to... stupid move or genius, you decide) and if I will get enough scholarship money to afford to attend the school.