Wet Dog Food: Don't Fall For It!!

In the past, I've always liked to treat Walter to a spoonful of wet dog food mixed with his dry food once or twice a year. Usually I did this when he got sick and his little tummy couldn't handle the dry food. And the food would be from the veterinarian's office, which means it's specially formulated to help him out more than for taste alone.

But I decided to get the Purina One wet dog food on a bit of a whim and I have regretted it ever since.

This apparently amazing tasting dog food (I'm having to take Walter's "word" for it) must have crack in it, because it's turned Walter into a total sloth. A pig. A chubby shell of his formerly cute self.

Walter, the Hamburgler

*Special shoutout to my pals Meredith and Angie, whose sweet Yorkies were kind enough to invite Walter to their fourth birthday party.

For any of you fortunate enough to meet Walter, you get the idea that he is a 75-year-old man trapped in the body of a 10-year-old dog. Seriously. He’s very particular, doesn’t particularly care for other dogs, actually enjoys going to the doctor’s office because it gives him something to do in his otherwise boring life, etc. And like old people, others tend to flock to him for sage advice or humor. Like my pal @kisngutz (Kim G.), who thinks I should go on vacation more often or get knocked up so she can watch Walter all the time (much like an old folks home).

With that background, Justin and I were slightly wary of bringing Walter to a birthday party for two Yorkies, Bella and Jackson. To be honest, we didn’t know what to expect – usually Walter does one of two things when he sees another dog: get excited too easily, which then causes the other dog to get mad at him; or, he pees on them accidently. Honestly, I don’t know if it is an accident or not. (Walter at the beginning of the birthday party)

So we took him anyways, and similar to a toddler birthday party, Walter is immediately swarmed by seven other dogs, sniffing, chatting via huffs and puffs, etc. I think Walter almost peed on one of them, but luckily the dog moved in time. After that, Walter went in search of places to pee, completely ignoring other dogs. Particularly when he stumbled across a rare, muddy find near the back of the property.

Most of you know, Walter has a fascination with tennis balls. In fact, his latest collection includes one the size of a basketball I found at Golfsmith in their tennis section, and a set of 48 I got him at Costco. (At some point, I’ll post the video of Walter playing with the huge tennis ball). But little known fact – he loves squeaky toys. I think because he hates the squeak and wants to kill it. Seriously. (Walter going to town on a fake hamburger)

So the hamburger toy squeaked. And it was Walter’s duty to the other dogs to de-squeak it. For about thirty minutes, he ignored everything going on around him and focused on this ridiculous toy. He entered the party beautiful and clean. Walter left it a muddy mess. Pretty cute, if we weren’t in a car with cream-colored leather. Whoops.

Anywho, the point of this story is that everyone needs to go to a dog birthday party once in their life. In fact, Justin and I (and Walter) had so much fun, we may have to throw one for Walter in June. (Walter after playing with the ball... clearly incredibly happy with himself. His parents, not so much)

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!

So it’s been awhile since I’ve last posted, and really, it’s because I’m lazy. Here’s the breakdown on what I haven’t accomplished since Jan. 1 due to this bout of laziness:
Laundry: I won’t tell you how long since I last did all my clothing instead of just one-offs of desperation
Indoor Christmas decorations: I did take down the outdoor lights and decorations on Jan. 2 – I don’t want to be THAT person in the neighborhood – cough – you know who you are on Othello Cove who not only has their lights up, but still has them on at night
Cleaning: I think those of you who know me well, know this is a constant battle for Justin and me.
Painting: I actually started painting our front bedroom and guest bathroom right after the New Year’s and quickly stopped after a regrettable incident that ended up with both Walter and me in the same bathtub rinsing blue paint off of ourselves. Neither of us was pleased. I also can’t figure out how to paint this corner of the bathroom without removing the toilet.
Working out: Actually, I remedied that on Sunday and have worked out every day since, so I think I’m un-lazy now in that category. And to make sure I stayed on track, I signed up for the Capitol 10K on March 30.

And then obviously blogging (Arnold, you probably think I’m dead and have stopped reading… *teardrop*).

So what better way to start back blogging then to discuss my joy and subsequent fear in attempting to killing a creature this morning.

The situation began last night. I had just gotten back from working out (i.e. ridding myself of the lazy bug I had been plagued with for the last three or four weeks), and I’m talking with Justin at the foot of the stairs inside the house. We heard this weird buzzing noise, but couldn’t find where it was coming from because it was dark, and well, we’re lazy so we didn’t try very hard.

Flash forward to this morning when I’m getting ready in my bathroom and Walter starts barking crazy-like. He’s not much of a barker, so I take his “I am dog and I will defend the JB-House honor” bark pretty seriously.

He’s over at the front door and so I check to see if anyone is at it – no one. In fact, not a single “person” was there.

What was there could only be described as the biggest flying roach I had ever seen perched on the window right above the front door.

After a slight shriek, I think quickly and grab the Raid under the sink, the three-step stair thingy from the bathroom where we are/were painting and make haste towards this evil flying demon of rodents.

I’ll admit it, I’m pretty sure Walter was weirded out by my odd laughter and profanity-filled threats towards this otherwise innocent rodent while I was spraying liquid death at it. But my laughter quickly ended and confusion and slight fear set in when I realized the thing wasn’t dying. Maybe it weakened him, but spraying a fourth can of the Raid didn’t kill him.

I didn’t know what to do. So I left the mess I had made (Raid dripping from the top window) and gathered my stuff to go to work. At one point, I went to check on it, thinking he had finally bit it. But as I approached it raised its head and looked right at me.

I quickly chalked it up to coincidence and continued gathering my stuff, but as I made my way to the coat closet that’s right next to the front door, the crazy roach lifted its head again from its deathbed and looked right at me. And then it telepathically informed me I’m next. (or at least, I fell like it was sending me some type of equally horrible death threat)

So I yelped and ran out of the house and haven’t gone back. I hope Walter is okay. If I don’t blog again, you’ll know why.

Today’s random thoughts on:

1. Allergies: My eyes are itching, my nose is ridiculously dry, I think I’m running a fever, and my throat hurts when I swallow. I sense fall allergy season fast approaching!
2. Justin Timberlake’s new album: Oh, he’s definitely bringing sexy back; yum. The album is streaming on The Leak over at MTV, and I’m purchasing this CD on Tuesday. It’s seriously clutch.
3. Working Out: If there was a way for someone else to move my body instead of me doing it, that would be nice.
4. Computers: I really want a new one (just because, which is of course, ridiculous reasoning), but I’m trying to hold out until Vista launches next January – and then maybe a little after that, just so I know it will work well.
5. iPods: Apple is doing another one of their “secret announcements” tomorrow – maybe I’ll give Justin my Video iPod tonight as a “gift” and then purchase whatever they announce tomorrow – I hear it might be a “true” video iPod. I guess that is different than the “false” iPod I currently possess.
6. Walter: My dog is so awesome. There were some people next door from OSU, and they took a picture of my dog in his Longhorn jersey. I took him on a walk through the neighborhood, and we were getting shout outs all morning!

#28!

Walter is the best dog ever. I think we have established that with extensive evidence.

Friday was a bad day, because I found out Walter might have a fatal disease. But I don't want to talk about it because it makes me sad.

What I do want to talk about it how effin' cool my dog is!

Case in point:

OMG, my dog is so awesome... I had the jersey specially made for him, and hopefully at the start of the football season, he'll be wearing it every Saturday, and on the first day Vince Young plays for the Titans.

Go long Walter!

Barf… literally

Some people are light sleepers, others sleep really hard, and carry conversations with people while sleeping and don’t remember. Others become apathetic during their sleep and only recall their idiocy when they wake up… or are reminded of it.

In high school, I carried on a conversation with a friend at about 10 p.m. – however, I was asleep. The following morning my dad wakes me up to listen to the answering machine. Apparently the conversation was recorded on the answering machine, which was hilarious, because I had no idea I was even on the phone. Much like when I’m awake, my discussions make no sense when I’m asleep.

Fast forward to 10 years later. I’m asleep by 10 p.m. (not much has changed since high school apparently…) and I vaguely remember Walter trying to wake me up between 10-11:15 p.m., but I didn’t care.

Then Justin comes in around 11:15, and wakes me up with this proclamation: “Oh my God! It smells like shit in here.” Then my memory of Walter trying to wake me up flashes through my mind, followed by an, “Aw, crud.”

Walter pooped, peed, barfed, and then left puddles of poop (I know gross… sorry). Justin ran off to the bathroom at one point while we were cleaning because he felt sick, and then I was jumpy the rest of the night thinking it was going to happen again… plus the smell was HORRIBLE all night long.

So, glad I was paranoid because he barfed and peed again at 4:45… I rushed him outside and he did his DIRRRRRTY business again out there. WOOO. Thank goodness. I don’t know how much more my carpet can take.

I went to check on him during the midday, and he seems a lot better, and he ate some food. So, he’s in the clear for now! I will talk to the vet on Friday about what causes this and how I can prevent it from happening twice in one night!

YUCK!

Down Walter, WHOA!

it was a pretty long day at work yesterday, so naturally when i got home, i just wanted to relax, chill, and hang with my dog. it’s my m.o., how i kick it, how i roll.

he was pretty excited to see me too, and i played with him a little harder than i usually do, and i guess he was grateful, excited, aroused?

out of nowhere, walter starts going to town on my leg, and i had to shake him off of it. i was pretty disgusted at his display of affection/arousal, but at the same time it was pretty funny.

kinda reminds me of brian on family guy when he had the hots for lois. except brian was a lot more conspicuous than walter.

needless to say, i will not be playing with walter in the near future. he will get his pets and the occasional hug, but that’s it. yuck.