Walter, the Hamburgler

*Special shoutout to my pals Meredith and Angie, whose sweet Yorkies were kind enough to invite Walter to their fourth birthday party.

For any of you fortunate enough to meet Walter, you get the idea that he is a 75-year-old man trapped in the body of a 10-year-old dog. Seriously. He’s very particular, doesn’t particularly care for other dogs, actually enjoys going to the doctor’s office because it gives him something to do in his otherwise boring life, etc. And like old people, others tend to flock to him for sage advice or humor. Like my pal @kisngutz (Kim G.), who thinks I should go on vacation more often or get knocked up so she can watch Walter all the time (much like an old folks home).

With that background, Justin and I were slightly wary of bringing Walter to a birthday party for two Yorkies, Bella and Jackson. To be honest, we didn’t know what to expect – usually Walter does one of two things when he sees another dog: get excited too easily, which then causes the other dog to get mad at him; or, he pees on them accidently. Honestly, I don’t know if it is an accident or not. (Walter at the beginning of the birthday party)

So we took him anyways, and similar to a toddler birthday party, Walter is immediately swarmed by seven other dogs, sniffing, chatting via huffs and puffs, etc. I think Walter almost peed on one of them, but luckily the dog moved in time. After that, Walter went in search of places to pee, completely ignoring other dogs. Particularly when he stumbled across a rare, muddy find near the back of the property.

Most of you know, Walter has a fascination with tennis balls. In fact, his latest collection includes one the size of a basketball I found at Golfsmith in their tennis section, and a set of 48 I got him at Costco. (At some point, I’ll post the video of Walter playing with the huge tennis ball). But little known fact – he loves squeaky toys. I think because he hates the squeak and wants to kill it. Seriously. (Walter going to town on a fake hamburger)

So the hamburger toy squeaked. And it was Walter’s duty to the other dogs to de-squeak it. For about thirty minutes, he ignored everything going on around him and focused on this ridiculous toy. He entered the party beautiful and clean. Walter left it a muddy mess. Pretty cute, if we weren’t in a car with cream-colored leather. Whoops.

Anywho, the point of this story is that everyone needs to go to a dog birthday party once in their life. In fact, Justin and I (and Walter) had so much fun, we may have to throw one for Walter in June. (Walter after playing with the ball... clearly incredibly happy with himself. His parents, not so much)