It’s Been Awhile

Well, I’m happy to report that it is currently 75 degrees in Austin on May 31. You read right folks- the world is coming to an end when it is hotter in Washington D.C. (or so I’ve been informed) than it is in the entire state of Texas (okay, El Paso is 93, two degrees warmer than DC).

So horrible news. I’ve been informed we have a wedding to go to in August (GASP!), which means I’ve got 20 pounds to lose before then. I’ve been having trouble with the weight lately, despite my attempts at eating healthy, so I’m pondering the Jenny Craig (no) or the L.A. Weight Loss (maybe) options. Justin thinks it’s stupid, and maybe it is. But if it helps me shed the pounds, he can shove it. And of course, shove it with love.

So I have a feeling this blog will be about my attempts (again) to try and shed the pounds, so I expect all of you (all three) who read this to keep me honest. But I’m also doing this for another reason, besides looking hot and sassy in August. I mean, a year from now, Justin and I will probably start trying the procreation thing (eeeegad!) and I want to be in the fittest, healthiest shape possible because, a) it makes the pregnancy easier, and b) the baby is healthier.

In other news, Justin’s sister has been living with us for a week now, and it’s going really well. It’s nice having another girl in the house, because sometimes Justin is such a freakin’ boy, with all of his ESPN, golf playing, dorky life.

Oh, wish him luck next weekend – he’s trying to qualify for a golf tournament at Pinehurst. (Apparently one of the first and nicest golf clubs in the U.S.) Just since we have joined the country club, his ability to play golf has already made him a coveted piece – a.k.a. “join my golf team you crazy player!” I, on the other hand, have gone two steps backwards in my playing ability, and still struggle to hit the ball. Yeah, look at that period at the end of the sentence, not “hit the ball…far” or “hit the ball…where I want it to go” – just hit the ball. I’ll figure it out again at some point, and it will be oh so glorious.

Until next time suckas.

Announcement!

I’m really excited to announce a new member of the Balthrop Austin clan. The new member came a little sooner than we expected, but Justin and I are stoked nonetheless.

Welcome Kristy to our humble home! JB’s sister will be residing with us for a few months while she tackles an internship in Austin. YAY! Someone to shop with!

If I was on South Park...

So I was doing my weekly tech-blog reading and one, came across this way cool music blog that will totally revolutionize the way orchestras/musicians read music, and then two, a way to create your own South Park character. So here is mine…

Sweet.

Bon Voyage!

Welcome back DirectTV… it’s like the cable knew I was returning to watch it! Probably my all-time favorite Charlie Brown special is on , Bon Voyage Charlie Brown (And Don’t Come Back).

Surprisingly, a lot of people have not seen this Charlie Brown special, and let me tell you, they’re missing out!

I mean, somehow, Snoopy and Woodstock not only have passports to travel abroad, but Snoopy is the only one of the gang that can drive a car.

Plus, Snoopy gets sloshed on root beer. Tell me this isn’t the best?!

I've got the shakes.

It’s coming…

A wave of anger so deep that it is causing my eye to twitch and my hands to shake violently for the last week.

I guess it started at the tail-end of those blasted thunderstorms, and looking back at my previous posts, I’m sort of surprised I didn’t blog about them. I could have sworn I did!

Anyways, back on track, our DirectTV has been out for two weeks, and last Friday we discovered our phone line is also out.

Along with the daily dose of stress at work (which I’m not complaining, it just happens every once and awhile) I’ve started to develop this twitch on my right eye. I’ll be talking to someone, and it just starts twitching. Then starting yesterday and peaking today, my hands started to get numb and shake violently.

I mean, I guess it is either a sign of Parkinson’s or small anxiety attacks, but I choose to go with the ladder because it makes more sense, and it doesn’t scare me.

I can’t wait to relax this weekend. I’m really looking forward to it!

Leave My Pumpernickel's Alone While I Dance!

Um yeah.

You might be wondering where in the hell that title came from. If I had read it thirty minutes ago I would be wondering the same thing.

Tonight, Justin and I set up this desk system that we acquired from Costco. Yay, Costco! Anyways, I decided to boot up the old college computer (Dell was the thang in college, fo' real) and grab all of my old MP3's off of it.

However, the problem is two fold:

One: I have no connection to the Internet on this thing.

Second: For some reason, if I burn Data CDs on this computer (so like 300 MP3s on one CD, per say) it won't read it on any other computer. It doesn't matter if it is a Word Document, something is just corrupted and it can only burn audio.

So I have a lot of songs on my old computer, because, well, let's all admit it, we were all into Napster in college. Those days are gone, and I'm too frightened to steal music now from odd online sources, but I want these bloody songs!

I mean, in my spare time I was burning such quality classics as: Part of Your World by Ariel the mermaid, Everything I Own by Bread (and by NSYNC, but they really did the song a disservice), or even the Saved by the Bell theme song. I mean, seriously folks, I want these songs.

But perhaps the songs that will live forever in my heart takes me back to a little place called "University Commons" off of Wickersham Lane my freshman year. Here, me, Enrico, a Filipino friend of his, and James Willis, all huddled around this small ass microphone I had, tied to the pulley on my ceiling fan and sang/played our hearts out for a little song called Pumpernickel's Curse.

And seriously, given the fact we were in a room about the size of a potato, recording two acoustic guitars, a bass guitar, a violin, and my voice on a microphone the size of my thumb, shows what a bunch of retards we were. Nonetheless, the song was recorded, showcasing the talent of a bass player (James), a talented song writer (Enrico), a hella good acoustic guitarist (some friend of Enrico's who also sang backup) and then the tits and ass (a.k.a. the brains) of the group, me (and my attempt to sing lead vocals while playing a violin, both done poorly).

So the songs are still on my old computer, and I just finished transferring them to my laptop for again transferal to my iPod. Other solo breakout songs include the hits "Leave" and "Dance," both showcasing my ability to overcompensate on the piano for my mousy voice. It's awesome.

Ikea and the Bed…

Some of you (well, maybe just one person) might remember a trip to Houston and Ikea back in April. Well, I’m happy to report that we were finally able to assemble the canopy bed we bought.

Yes, you read right: it took us a month and a half to finally put the bloody bed together. The funniest part is 99 percent of the bed was put together the afternoon we bought it (by myself I might add… muscles flinching as she types). But, there were these funky cross bars that wouldn’t attach to the bed because the holes were too small to fit the screws in.

After much arguing, analysis, and consultations of experts (i.e. Justin’s cousin and a co-worker), we decided that these cross bars provided no additional structural support to the bed frame. This analysis period took well over a month to complete.

So yesterday we made the bed, tested it out (take that for what you will), and felt accomplished.

Politics and Roaches... one in the same?

So I was in the Big D this past weekend for a couple of reasons: one, it was Mother’s Day, and I had to surprise my mom with an iPod Nano my sister and I went in on (although, the younger sibling has yet reimburse me for my troubles). Second, Saturday also marked the culmination of a very hard fought battle for my dad to get on the town council.

I think I got my dad into trouble with his campaign manager, because he neglected to inform her of my work background. She about murdered him on the spot actually when I told her I do PR, but since he won, she forgave him. She said she’ll use me when they find a candidate for mayor… I’m thinking it might be her.

See, Dad thinks I’m still seven, so of course he wouldn’t recommend that they funnel their messages, Web site copy, and news releases through me. Oh well, I don’t think I would have had time for it anyway.

Apparently, Sunday also marked the time when Mom decided to force all of my old belongings back on me. No big deal, except we had minimal space in the vehicle and she tells me this as we still have guests (Justin’s family) at the house. So instead of visiting with people, I’m forced to go through crap. Booo…

Also what I didn’t realize is that there would be tons of roaches in the boxes when I opened them at my house. Luckily, I had Raid on hand to prevent any rapid escape by these disgusting creatures, but it was so gross.

So I’m unpacking my old items (trophies from middle school and high school… in Speech and Debate, and orchestra) and two years ago I couldn’t throw away any of this stuff. I don’t know if it was Desperate Housewives calling my name or the thought of roaches crawling through all of my stuff, but I no longer felt the need to keep all of this crap.

So no more of the “Lead Me On” album by Amy Grant, and no more of that repulsive turquoise ceramic medallion I made when I was 10… they are now in the trash.

Because the trash pickup in Austin is funky, I decided to run to one of the huge trash bins in the housing development that the construction workers use, and dump my boxes filled with roaches there.

AND I TOTALLY THOUGHT I GOT BUSTED!!

As I was attempting to throw these boxes up 11 feet into the air (which 75 percent of the time I missed on the first attempt), I saw this car going into reverse. So I freaked out and got in my car to speed off. Except I’m a retard and went to a dead-in street.

So I tried to pass off my stupidity by getting out of my car (while it's still running) and trying to hide in a house. Well problem one: the car totally saw where I was and parked near me and two: the house I tried to hide in was locked.
Oddly enough, the guy that was driving car that was following me went into a house across the street. I don’t know if they were calling the cops or what, but I SPED the hell out of there, parked in my garage and shut the garage door, breathing a sigh of relief.

While no one came knocking on my door, I still think the guy wrote down my license plate number. I bet we’ll get a citation in the mail or something. Good thing the car is in Justin’s name. HAH!

Why I Love Meredith Grey.

I’m in love with Grey’s Anatomy. I am starting to really dislike Desperate Housewives (I mean, it is just too far out there now… that show used to be a “tall-tale” of fairly realistic storylines, but now it is just stupid), so now I patiently wait through DH to get to Grey’s. Maybe it’s because I worked in a hospital for five summers in a row and feel a connection to the characters, from the nurses to the arrogant doctors, but I usually end up crying at the end of every episode.

So here is my gift to you, fellow reader(s). It’s one of my favorite blogs out there because it just gives additional insight into an already well-written show: http://www.greyswriters.com. Yeah, it’s a blog the writers of the show keep. Awesome.

For the one person that reads this!

Take My Quiz - http://www.quizyourfriends.com/linkIM02.php?quizname=060505170931-732611&

Cookie Monster

So there was this incident on Easter I need to discuss that I hadn’t really brought up.

I gave up all kinds of desserts for the lovely Lenten season, and as a reward, Gran made me her famous (and by famous I mean, I know about them and they are GLORIOUS) fudge and sugar cookies.

On Easter, I was fairly miserable and over dosed on serious sugar… she made enough for me to bring back, and I was clinging to them as we were loading up the car to head back to Austin.

Unfortunately, my husband, who in today’s blog will be referred to as EVIL JERK, told me to give him the desserts and for me to take Walter and put him in the car.

Like the obedient and loving wife that I am, I happily obliged him, knowing that my desserts would be in strong, caring, and safe hands.

I WAS WRONG.

EVIL JERK decided to not head straight to the car with the sweets; rather, EVIL JERK decided he was thirsty and needed a Propel before he left Dallas. Sitting the sweets down on the counter, EVIL JERK got is Propel and LEFT MY DESSERTS ON THE COUNTER.

Okay, so you may think I’m overreacting a tad on this, and to be honest, I know I am. But you just don’t get it until you experience this fudge and sugar cookie combo… I mean, it brings back all the memories of childhood and spending so much time with my grandparents, plus Gran could sell these desserts and make a crap load of money.

So about twenty minutes down the road, I realized we had left the sweets, and EVIL JERK refused to turn around and get them, even though it was entirely his fault.

And I cried. I admit it – My grandmother is 88 years old (89 in August) and this very well could have been her last batch of cookies and fudge she ever made me! And it isn’t like I have the recipes to these, I totally do… but as decent of a cook as I am, I just can’t compete with the expertise of Gran.

So we called EVIL JERK’s mom (known in today’s blog as M-I-L SAVIOR) and she froze the sweets for me.

It’s been weeks, and finally yesterday EVIL JERK went to Dallas for some meetings and golf with some clients or something, and picked up the glorious sweets, after I called to remind him and MIL SAVIOR.

And all day today I have been showering co-workers that are deemed worthy enough (or rather, that knew about my tearful pout) with yummy cookies and fudge. Ivette even wants me to ask how much Gran would charge for her fudge.

I’m telling you… I’m going to steal Gran for a week, and we are going to make fudge and cookies all week long, so I can learn the way of the Gran and then sell this stuff online.

XX-XY (Maybe even an XXH?)

What a boring day. I have a lot to do, and I’m doing it, but geez, I just want to go home and nap. I’m having a really bad headache, stemming from lack of water and annoying florescent lighting, and we are getting a new mattress delivered this evening for a bed we haven’t finished putting together. Lovely.

Yesterday was a busy day. We had to finish cleaning the apartment and turn in our keys (about an hour in we both said “Fuck It” – to cleaning) and left. Haha. Ashley stopped by to see the house before she left for Houston. While she was in town she got a sweet new car – fully loaded Toyota Four Runner… gorgeous – and so Justin christens it with “JB was Here” on the back window. I’m pretty sure Ashley was a little miffed, but her car was dirty, and it attracts immature boys to write stupid sayings.

Ivette and Lissette stopped by to scope out the house too, which was fun. I got to see Ivette’s new sweet ride (which I’m thinking, if you want to get a new car, just plan to stop by our house). They got Walter a ball, and it was hilarious. He destroyed it in literally 15 minutes. Walter is crazy.

Then we went to a 2 year-old birthday party. Colin is cute, and I’m fairly sure he is going to take after his dad and cousins (that being Justin) and be a sarcastic terror. He’ll do something, give you an evil glare, and then crack up. It’s just a sign. Then someone told me that my baby will look like Colin. Colin’s cute, and I hope that my kid gets red hair, but I would prefer a freak of recessive genes and the kid have dark hair and dark skin, like the rest of my family. Haha.

Which, speaking of, remember those blocks that you would do in middle school to track recessive genes and dominant genes. They actually stopped teaching that in schools because kids were figuring out their mom or dad wasn’t really their mom or dad. Crazy stuff.

Okay, back to word. My seven minute break was long over due, and subsequently, now over.