Look what comedic material fell into my lap

Most of you know I work in the public relations industry. I did six-to-seven years in PR penitentiary, i.e. PR agency life. But now that I'm out on parole (i.e. the beautiful freedom of corporate life), it's interesting to see the industry through a different point-of-view and I'm really enjoying the experience. (In all seriousness, agency life isn't that bad...)

Anyways, in my inbox this morning was a cold-call e-mail from a boutique PR agency I've never heard of. I'm changing up the names/locations to protect the innocent (highlighted in red), but this was just so awful that I couldn't pass up the opportunity to share how not to pitch your PR agency to someone: