Jenni’s Getting Cut

And by cut, I don’t mean ripped or super fit – although next week I begin my training for the Danskin Triathlon in June (technically it is a “sprint triathlon” – half-mile swim, 12 mile bike ride and 5K run), so maybe I’ll be “cut” in a few months.

Today, I’m cutting off about three years worth of hair growth, or roughly eight inches (my hair grows pretty slow, as the typical person’s hair grows about a half-an-inch a month).

Some of you may know that Justin’s mom was diagnosed with breast cancer back in October, and she just began chemo treatment this month, which causes your hair to fall out. So while I had planned to get a few inches cut off this year, part of the reason for the more drastic option is out of respect for Karen. I thought about shaving my head (seriously), but in the end, I just can’t go through it. I keep having visions of Britney with the umbrella. By the way, looking at that picture again makes me realize how far she’s come in the last year and a half. I can’t wait to see her in Dallas in less than two weeks! Wee!

Back on topic. For any of you looking to donate your hair at some point in your life, I recommend researching organizations thoroughly, because some organizations will actually just throw your hair out if you don’t meet certain requirements, like:
*Hair must be at a minimum between 8 to 12 inches
*In a ponytail when you donate (some people apparently send in swept-up hair off the ground, which is just gross)
*No hair dye, or certain types of dye only

That last requirement is what made the whole donation process tricky for me. For example, Wigs for Kids does NOT except any type of hair that’s been dyed, even if it was semi-permanent (washes out 4-6 weeks… used mainly if you’re coloring over grey hairs). Other organizations let you donate if you have colored, but not bleached (so any highlights during the past five years and you are out of luck). But whatever you decide, make sure you follow the directions carefully and researched the organization thoroughly. For example, Locks of Love WILL throw away or sell your hair if it is too grey, too short for their wigs, or is sent to them in a braid instead of a ponytail. Seriously.

For my purposes, I found an organization that lets you donate if you have colored your hair, thank goodness. If any of you have seen my hair in person, you know that it is incredibly thick, and I think would be great for a wig. Children with Hairloss is an organization based out of Michigan that caters to children who need a wig due to a medically-related condition.

And if you are strapped for cash – or just a greedy jerk, you can also grow your hair for money – and can sell it for upwards of $1,000 depending on the length and overall health of the hair.

I’ll post pictures this evening of the new hair style on Facebook over the weekend. Most likely it will be a picture with me and Perez Hilton, because I’m totally going to his book signing at BookPeople tomorrow. So look for my hot mug on Perez’s Web site next Friday. Haha.

New Year, New Me?

Inevitably, every January 1, myself – along with approximately 250 million Americans – have this stupid notion that resolutions are key to a successful and prosperous coming year, along with black eyed peas (yuck). And by April 24 – inevitably again – 95 percent of Americans come to the conclusion that resolutions totally suck.

So why do we play this game with ourselves? Do we enjoy setting up inevitable failure, cherish the promise of shattered goals, cling to the off-chance that we will become that five percent of Americans who lose weight or whatever that thing is we are “resolving”(as evident by the “results not typical” smaller-than-your-nose-hair typeset below their picture on the 2 a.m. infomercials)?

Really, the only time I am able to keep any type of promise to myself is during Lent, when – as a Catholic – the fear of God’s wrath instills some type of impenetrable force field around your promise to workout more, stop eating candy/fattening foods, and read the bible nightly. Because, of course, Jesus’ love for me and my BMI go hand in hand… right?

The point is, why do we kid ourselves with seemingly unattainable promises of a better life?

Also, why have I used the term inevitable or a similar function of the word so many times in this posting? Probably lack of a decent vocabulary…

I don’t really know why we make goals we can’t keep, so my resolution this year is no resolutions at all. Sure, I still want to lose weight, and yes, I’d love to focus more on my spiritual enlightenment, but I made those promises to myself back in September, not January 1.

Maybe because I didn’t want to be like everyone else, but more because I wanted to set my own goals on my own time, my own way – not on some day set in stone by Hallmark, 24 Hour Fitness, or Nutrisystem Nourish. (Which, by the way, those commercials do make that food look yummy… but I decided to make my own food myself – oh, and did you notice those commercials started running right around the holiday season? Coincidence – of course not! Commercialism is in every aspect of our lives, integrated to a ridiculous degree – but that is for a different blog posting)

So here is my ultimatum to you – stop defining your life by a date, by one or two unrealistic goals that will only cause you a greater setback when you don’t reach them. Take baby steps, meditate or pray on how you can better improve your life – but make it realistic and obtainable and not according to a calendar, because when you do reach a goal, it’s the best feeling in the world (results not typical).

BTW, I didn’t have any black eyed peas today.