Which Dallas Girl Am I?

Got this from a fellow co-worker, and knowing that many a Dallas-ite frequent the blog, I thought this would be worth sharing. *Sigh, I can't believe the Mesquite one.

Mattel recently announced the release of limited-edition Barbie Dolls for the Dallas market:

" Highland Park Barbie"
This princess Barbie is sold only at Northpark. She comes with an
assortment of Kate Spade Handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey
and a McMansion on Beverly Drive. Available with or without tummy tuck and face
lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with the augmented version.


" Plano Barbie"
The modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar Minivan
and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation.
Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately.


" Oak Cliff Barbie"
This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife,a
Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is only
available after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable
bills) unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.


" Frisco Barbie"
This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2.
Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club membership. Also
available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to
afford any of them.


" Mesquite Barbie"
This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too
small, a NASCAR t-shirt and tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Bud
light and a Hank Williams Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's
butt when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag
bumper sticker absolutely free.


" Grand Prairie Barbie"
This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own
high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased beer-gutted Ken out of Southside
Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a
see-through halter-top. Also available with a mobile home.


" Lower Greenville Barbie"
This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair,
arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her
Willow . She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Point Breeze Barbies
and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free.


" East Dallas Barbie"
This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional accessories
include a GED and bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his 1979 Caddy were available, but are now very
difficult to find since the addition of the infant.



" Oak Lawn Barbie/Ken"
This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by simply
adding or subtracting the multiple snap-on parts.

Thoughts on a Friday Night

This evening – sitting in traffic – I started thinking about things. Maybe it was the song on the radio (Five for Fighting, 100 years), but I had just gotten off the phone with my mom. My great aunt is pretty sick and broke her hip/fractured her femur earlier in the week. Now they think she might have a tumor in her lung, which is never good, especially at the age of 84.

But something hit me talking with her that made me happy. My parents are trying to get my great uncle home before the ice storm hits Dallas, and he refuses to leave the hospital – he doesn’t want to leave her alone. She’s in ICU, so he doesn’t even get to see her all the time, but he doesn’t care. He won’t leave.

I don’t know how long they’ve been married – probably close to 60 years, maybe more – but I started thinking about Justin and I at that age. We’ll probably still snippy at each other, but in a cute way. But more importantly, I hope we’re just like that – never leaving each other’s side, ever. Maybe that’s what happens when you are married to your best friend. Just a thought.

Sigh. We’ll probably still be losers too – he’s watching the Houston/Denver game while navigating the ESPN Web site, and I’m writing this blog. When we’re 84, we’ll probably still be doing the same thing, just slightly altered. I’ll be thinking thoughts for a blog that will automatically be posted on someone’s brain, and he’ll be watching the basketball game in some virtual console that makes it look like he has courtside seats.

And so now you know what happens when I think too hard…

I'm in Love

Come June 2007, I'm going to be married to this sweet thing! (And by default, sucked into the Cingular world... sigh)

http://www.apple.com/iphone/

Apple is consistently an innovator -- and this device proves it. Take that Microsoft! This is the year the B's go Apple/MAC!

No work when birds die?

Okay, I lie -- I'm working from home today, but the lucky fools that don't have access to their networks get to stay home and do nothing because a bunch of birds died.

Odd. See latest AP story: http://news.bostonherald.com/national/view.bg?articleid=175992

You know -- You Suck at Speaking

Okay, maybe I'm taking this a little far, but I couldn't even finish this article because one phrase kept being said over and over again by the interviewee.

So here's media training 101, kids -- figure out what your speech "ticks" are -- such as, "yeah," "um," "gosh," etc., and then don't use them. Please. For the sake of anyone listening to you. Maybe that will actually require you to think before you speak, and you'll kill two birds with one stone.

On a side note, I also think whoever transcribed this is being a real jerk. Most writers would have just left out the "you know" part.

Second side note -- I think Donald Trump and Rosie O'Donnell are both being real babies. Whoever is wrong/right doesn't matter -- please, just grow up and shut up. The higher moral ground would be to not say anything at all.

Enjoy!

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16469812/

New Year, New Me?

Inevitably, every January 1, myself – along with approximately 250 million Americans – have this stupid notion that resolutions are key to a successful and prosperous coming year, along with black eyed peas (yuck). And by April 24 – inevitably again – 95 percent of Americans come to the conclusion that resolutions totally suck.

So why do we play this game with ourselves? Do we enjoy setting up inevitable failure, cherish the promise of shattered goals, cling to the off-chance that we will become that five percent of Americans who lose weight or whatever that thing is we are “resolving”(as evident by the “results not typical” smaller-than-your-nose-hair typeset below their picture on the 2 a.m. infomercials)?

Really, the only time I am able to keep any type of promise to myself is during Lent, when – as a Catholic – the fear of God’s wrath instills some type of impenetrable force field around your promise to workout more, stop eating candy/fattening foods, and read the bible nightly. Because, of course, Jesus’ love for me and my BMI go hand in hand… right?

The point is, why do we kid ourselves with seemingly unattainable promises of a better life?

Also, why have I used the term inevitable or a similar function of the word so many times in this posting? Probably lack of a decent vocabulary…

I don’t really know why we make goals we can’t keep, so my resolution this year is no resolutions at all. Sure, I still want to lose weight, and yes, I’d love to focus more on my spiritual enlightenment, but I made those promises to myself back in September, not January 1.

Maybe because I didn’t want to be like everyone else, but more because I wanted to set my own goals on my own time, my own way – not on some day set in stone by Hallmark, 24 Hour Fitness, or Nutrisystem Nourish. (Which, by the way, those commercials do make that food look yummy… but I decided to make my own food myself – oh, and did you notice those commercials started running right around the holiday season? Coincidence – of course not! Commercialism is in every aspect of our lives, integrated to a ridiculous degree – but that is for a different blog posting)

So here is my ultimatum to you – stop defining your life by a date, by one or two unrealistic goals that will only cause you a greater setback when you don’t reach them. Take baby steps, meditate or pray on how you can better improve your life – but make it realistic and obtainable and not according to a calendar, because when you do reach a goal, it’s the best feeling in the world (results not typical).

BTW, I didn’t have any black eyed peas today.